I don’t understand humans; they say the stupidest things, particularly to dogs. We’re not daft but humans talk to us as though we are, smiling at us and saying things that don’t make sense. I’ve been asked when out in the woods if I’m having a lovely walk, well of course I am, I’m in the woods chasing squirrels and playing ball.
Went to see the dermatologist last week and sitting in the waiting room someone came up to me and said ‘Is no one saying hello to you?’ True, no one was, but I didn’t want anyone to say hello, I just wanted to say goodbye, I wanted to leave, forget the dermatologist. T and P seemed to be keen to stay though no matter how much I pulled them towards the door.
I go to the vets and the same thing happens, sit quietly in a corner hoping that I’ll be forgotten but someone always spots me and comes to strike up a conversation which invariably features the word “hello”. Not my favourite word on such occasions. Then I get asked if I’m alright, and I want to say ‘Yes I’m fine I don’t need to be here’ but T always jumps in and says ‘No, Paddy’s not very well’. At this point I try to do something to distract her so she doesn’t go into details; my bodily functions should remain private. And, it’s not just me that gets dragged to the vets for no reason, I’ve asked other dogs in the waiting room (don’t mix with the cats as they’re always in cages) and they say there’s nothing wrong with them either. I think humans are hypochondriacs by proxy.
The dermatologist did say goodbye to me though, he can’t do anything more as my allergies are so severe. Something I just have to live with. I’m happy, I don’t have to go there anymore and no more fake tattoos.
Goodbye does have its positive side.
