I met the Dark Destroyer today. A fearsome encounter you might think but it appears he’s a reformed character, a shadow of his former self. Either that or he was so overwhelmed by meeting me – Paddy Fabulous Willy of West Yorkshire, that he was lost for words. Not a sound did he utter, just trotted quietly along beside his human companion. I don’t say a lot when out on a walk – don’t want to be misunderstood and hit the headlines in the local papers, celebrities have to be always on their guard. But, to be honest I can’t get a word in edgeways as T says enough for everyone. She prattles on about me, it gets embarrassing. I know I’m wonderful, handsome and extremely accomplished but she doesn’t have to tell anyone she meets. She just walks up to people and starts to talk to them; I have to drag her away. If I’m on the lead this isn’t too difficult but off the lead I have to be a bit more resourceful. Jumping up at her or the person she is talking to is good but the best is to wee on her leg or better still the person she is talking to. That usually makes her hurry away.

As she was prattling on to the Dark Destroyer’s companion I could see the DD looking at me with pity in his eyes. The companion was looking worn down by the constant chatter from T, I think he wanted to get away but T kept following him. Finally, T ran out of steam and the DD and companion hurried off. T said to me that she thought they were nice – how would she know? They didn’t say a word, she knows nothing about them, they however, know all about my delicate stomach, my constant visits to the vets, I don’t always come when I’m called (who can blame me) and I’m of unknown parentage. Things I would rather people didn’t know.

So the DD is an enigma, why is he called that? He is black like me so I can understand the dark bit but what does he destroy? Somehow I don’t think I’ll ask him when I meet him next – that is assuming that he and his companion will ever walk in the woods again after meeting T. Not sure that he’d take kindly to me asking questions and I don’t want a demonstration. I’m a bit of a DD myself, I’m black and my record of destruction is growing – slippers, newspapers, frisbees, my bed, T’s favourite fruit bowl and the odd spider to name but a few.

So Dark Destroyer by name but no longer by nature. I would like to point out that my name Paddy Fabulous Willy of West Yorkshire does accurately describe me and I hope always will.