I may have mentioned that I like to go under the bed on occasion – T and P’s bed that is. I regard it as a safe place – a sanctuary from the worst excesses of T and P. It’s not infallible as T has been known to crawl under the bed when I’m not looking and grab me. But on the whole it offers peace and quiet when I need a refuge from life with T and P. I can read, eat, snooze, play, chew a slipper and watch T and P under the bed mainly undisturbed.

Although T and P know I like to go under the bed it usually takes them some time to find me – gives me some breathing space. Sometimes they think I am playing hide and seek (hide yes but I prefer not to be found) and they stand in the bedroom knowing exactly where I am and start calling me as if they can’t find me (if only). It’s sad and pathetic, they are fully grown humans but behave like children most of the time. What am I supposed to do? I stay under the bed for as long as possible, they think I am going along with their game but I am actually too frightened to come out. T makes so much noise and P just goes along with it – don’t think he knows what’s going on most of the time.

A dog needs a sanctuary. T has a garden shed, P and me are not allowed in but we both sneak in behind her back. P seems to enjoy rebelling against T’s rules but he always does it secretly – if she found out the consequences would be dire. P doesn’t like confrontation but me, I don’t care.

P has found solace in Wii Fit. He was so desperate to get it he bought it in Germany (online) he had searched West Yorkshire but it was sold out everywhere. This has given P a refuge from T. She doesn’t like computer games so pays little attention – this is a result for P. She is totally lost when he stands on this step thing and starts waving his arms and legs about staring intently at the TV screen, but leaves him undisturbed. I have watched him and I can’t say I really understand what he is doing (apart from keeping T at bay) but he seems to like it and tells T he’s making progress – progress at what remains a mystery and T shows no interest.

I like my bed but I get constantly disturbed there. T talks to me or worse sings to me. She makes up songs and insists on singing them loudly. She reckons she can sing – cats are more tuneful. For some reason since I came back from the ‘hotel’ (we don’t say the K word) she’s become obsessed with cleaning my teeth. I like the toothpaste but once I’ve licked it off the brush job done as far as I’m concerned but she keeps pushing the brush in my mouth and moving it around. I try to stop her by keeping my mouth firmly shut or chewing the brush but she is undeterred and keeps buying new toothbrushes.

So you can understand my need for a little sanctuary at times. It’s true what they say let sleeping dogs lie.