I like to look at the local paper each week. I take it from the hall floor – as T and P don’t bother to pick it up and go into the dining room to lie under the table and have a read. Well okay, I can’t read but I do like to look at the pictures – dogs and food are my favourites. It is a little difficult to turn the pages – dogs paws weren’t made for such things so I do tear the paper on occasion. This is unfortunate I accept, but not worthy of the reaction from T and P who seem to object most strongly to the bits of paper I leave lying around. If I get disturbed during my read I take the paper up to the bedroom and go under the bed where I can usually finish my read in peace. T does crawl under the bed at times but P has never tried and probably wouldn’t fit.

You would think that they’d be pleased that I take an interest in local affairs. If there is something that catches my eye I leave the paper open at the appropriate page in the hope that they will notice. Rarely works, they are hard work at times.

I collect the post as well and even take letters to them in my mouth to let them know it has arrived. I am trying to be helpful but my reward is being told to sit and stay while one of them tries to grab the letter out of my mouth. They never say please and how can I help it if sometimes the envelope gets ripped. It’s always my fault.

It won’t deter me I shall continue to help with the post and broaden my mind with the paper. You never know there might be an article about me, I wouldn’t want to miss that and I can’t rely on T or P as they rarely bother to read it.

Knowledge is power you know so I must be quite powerful as I know quite a lot and so many things that T and P would never understand. I’d be surprised if T and P know very much at all as they take little interest in what is going on around them. P just lies on the settee watching sport or snoozing and T is always too busy vacuuming to have time to read – if she does read anything it’s the Laura Ashley catalogue. Just as well I’m a bit of a news hound and take reading the paper so seriously