I am two years old now and have begun to take an interest in girls. T is not aware of this as she wouldn’t approve. One of my friends is a girl and she is very friendly with me but she’s friendly with everyone, but I won’t talk about that!

I’m happy to make friends with anyone I meet. But I have to be careful as I am a celebrity now and some girls may just want to be friends with me because I’m famous rather than because they genuinely like me. Fame is difficult to deal with at times. Still when I do meet dogs on my walks I act naturally and sometimes I’m not recognised. Tried wearing dark glasses once but I couldn’t see where I was going and I walked into a tree.

My long standing friends George, Max, Sadie and Alfie treat me as they always did which I appreciate, I can be myself with them. Met a friend yesterday who I hadn’t seen for a few months. I chased her around the woods which she seemed to enjoy - made lots of squeaking noises. Didn’t catch her obviously - not sure what I’d do if I did (keep that quiet please).

On the way home T told me that my friend’s companion said that she (I can’t remember my friend’s name and it seemed rude to ask when we met as she remembered me) only makes the squeaky noises when she’s having a good time. So that’s how to make a girl happy just chase them!

I’ve never seen P chase T, they walk in the woods with me but they never run about. P always looks a bit red in the face and has to sit down every now and then and that’s before he’s climbed any slopes. T runs after me but that is usually when she wants to stop me doing something – like eating horse manure. P’s probably afraid that if he did chase T he might catch her and then what would he do?(I don’t want to know).

P should take my advice – the way to a girl’s heart is chase them until they squeak - just make sure you don’t catch them. Simple really.

T has had to lie down, she isn’t feeling well. Today we went to the woods as usual wandered around as we do and then suddenly T stopped dead in her tracks. Just stood and stared, slowly she turned to me and pointed at the wall in front of her. There was the white gate. She walked towards it slowly and touched it. Yes, it definitely existed this was not a dream. Clearly T wanted me to be a witness to this so I could back her up when she told P. Since the last episode with the white gate P has been a little careful with T. I think he is not quite sure whether to believe her or not despite T showing him the gateposts and where the wall had been rebuilt. He has never been one to disagree with T – he likes a quiet life but he is going out of his way to be nice – even made her a cup of tea the other day.

We hurried home after T had satisfied herself that the gate existed. She looked a little odd and didn’t wait for me to have my customary paddle in the stream to clean my paws. Normally this is insisted upon. But T is a creature of habit and she still cleaned me up before allowing me into the house. When we got in T just reached for the gin bottle and lay on the settee.

When P arrived home T was more relaxed. She started to tell P about the gate, how it had reappeared and it really did exist. She looked at me to back up her. What could I do? I’m a dog and can’t speak. P suggested that T was tired and maybe she should go to bed and sleep off the gin. This was not the right thing to say, T got quite upset. I got my favourite toy which makes loud squeaking noises and started to make as much noise as I could to distract them. Whenever things get difficult P always tries to change the subject and I hoped making a noise would have the same effect. It worked, T started to chase me to get the toy and P quickly disappeared with a glass of whiskey.

Order of a kind has now been restored but this won’t end until T has managed to show P the gate. I just hope it remains in place until P can come with us. Still it does mean going to the woods again to check it’s still there so can’t complain. Every cloud has a silver lining.

T says I am always showing off, well with a kennel name of Paddy Fabulous Willy of West Yorkshire what else can I do?

I have been doing some thinking about my kennel name and watching Crufts over the weekend gave me the perfect answer. There was a dog with a kennel name of Fabulous Willy, I knew instantly that is the one for me! It says it all, I am fabulous and well I won’t say any more but suffice it to say I am proud of what I’ve got. I think that kennel names are meant to be about breeding – well I am not sure what my background is so my kennel name has to represent what’s best about me!

So I am now Paddy Fabulous Willy of West Yorkshire. That is a kennel name to be proud of don’t you think?

Watched TV with T and P last night. They were very interested in a programme which showed lots of dogs. They were being paraded around and people were looking at them and then people started to talk about their good and bad points. They were all very clean – were they for sale? Was this a new home shopping channel that T and P had found?

I was getting a little edgy that maybe they were going to replace me. I am not very clean or of the best pedigree – but I am a celebrity! Didn’t recognise any of the dogs on telly and nothing was said about OK9 Magazine so they couldn’t have been award winners. I wondered if I wasn’t good enough for them anymore despite all that I had achieved. These dogs all had kennel names – when I’ve been to the kennels I’ve always been called Paddy. T started talking about her previous dog, Pepper (I have been told all about her, she died when she was 17). According to T Pepper had a kennel name – Tinkerbell Topsy Cottontail Little Poppet. So if T gave Pepper a kennel name why hadn’t she given me one? Perhaps that was the problem I wasn’t good enough and they were shopping for a dog that was.

The programme finished and I waited for them to tell me they had chosen a new dog and I was to pack my bags. I didn’t know what to do or how I could make them change their mind, I was starting to panic.

P turned to T and said “Crufts is about to finish shall I turnover?” What? Crufts? I know what that is – lots of posh dogs on show to win rosettes. They weren’t shopping after all just watching Crufts. What a relief – mind you I don’t want T getting any ideas about bathing and brushing me all the time and as for a kennel name I fancy ‘Nosy Smelly Pest of Unknown Origin’.

T always says don’t judge a book by its cover, which is true. Just because a dog’s clean and looks posh doesn’t mean it is any better than a dirty mongrel like me!

We were in the woods as usual having our morning walk, climbing up a steep slope .When we got to the top there was a white wooden gate in the wall. This was new. There is a stile to get over the wall which T fell off a few weeks ago, but there has never been a gate. Since the fall T has not attempted to use the stile. This has meant we don’t do a favourite path of mine but T is T and I know we will use it again in time.

This white gate made T smile as it meant she didn’t have to climb the stile, I was rather pleased too – favourite path here I come! But we didn’t use the gate which was a disappointment T saying there wasn’t time. We didn’t go that way again on our walks for a few days but eventually T said we would do my favourite path. Climbed up the slope, but when we got to the top the gate wasn’t there. Just the stile and the wall. T stood there unable to believe her eyes, she wandered around looking at the wall muttering to herself. She looked a little demented as she kept looking at the wall. I hoped that no one would come along, this could have been embarrassing, how would I explain the situation? “Oh don’t worry just T having a funny turn looking for things that aren’t there. Quite normal.”

We went home and T told P about the gate. She had begun to doubt that she had seen it and dreamt it instead. She asked P if she was going mad, this was difficult for P, he clearly didn’t want to answer afraid that whatever he said would be wrong. I stayed out of the way in my bed. I knew she wasn’t dreaming as I had seen it too and we couldn’t both have the same dreams – could we? Does that mean that T dreams of chasing squirrels and seeing wallabies?

Unable to accept that she was going mad (not sure I would agree) we went back to the woods the next day and T had another look at the wall. This time she climbed over the stile to look at the wall from the other side. There was a look of triumph on her face and she started jumping up and down and saying “Look Paddy there are the gate posts and the wall has been rebuilt!”. It was true, the wall did look as though it had been rebuilt and there were two posts which did look remarkably like gate posts. Thankfully during this moment of revelation for T no one was around as I think this time I would have been taken to a place of safety and T would have been led away in a straight jacket.

We went home, still hadn’t done my favourite path. But T was keen to tell P that she was sane after all. P took the news well, though I am not sure he believed T was sane. A few days later T dragged P to the wall to show him where the gate had been and prove to him that she was right – there had been a gate. P agreed and tried to look interested as T pointed out the gate posts. We finally did my favourite path.

So the matter is closed and T is not as mad as we all thought. But what T or P haven’t asked is why did someone put a white wooden gate in a wall and then take it away? Was it just to make people think they were seeing things? It seems we shall never know but it is not something T will forget in a while, she was quite traumatised by the thought that she was losing her marbles. Poor old T she has obviously forgotten that seeing is believing.