P went out the other night; this is a regular thing on a Monday so I wasn’t worried. He’s staying close to home at the moment, no long absences. As soon as he’d gone T quickly grabbed the TV remote control and changed channels. She likes University Challenge and tries to answer the questions.

T’s efforts are pathetic bordering on the painful. She’s invariably wrong and spends most of the time shouting at the TV. If she spent more time listening to the question instead of shouting obscenities at Jeremy Paxman I reckon she might stand a better chance. But T can’t help it, never been one to take her time, patience is not a virtue that T possesses.

The next programme was more to my taste (literally), Masterchef. T could never be described as a cook, P tends to take control in the kitchen (the one place where he can) as T struggles with anything other than toast. I remember P saying that when she lived on her own she didn’t own a cooker which doesn’t surprise me. T was lying on the rug watching the TV I hoped she wouldn’t turn over, but she seemed quite engrossed. I lay beside her and started watching too in the hope that she might get the hint that maybe this was food I would like to try. Licked my lips when someone was cooking duck, but unfortunately everything was way beyond anything T could manage. Two people were tasting the food, I’d like that job, maybe I’ll write to see if I can be included. Why is it you never see dogs on these programmes? Who wants to see Dog Borstal?

P was late back, we had gone to bed but I wasn’t asleep, always wait for him to come in. Like to be at the front door when he gets home. He went up to see T who seemed pleased to see him as well and I brought my favourite toy in the hope that I might get a game. P was too busy telling T about his evening and didn’t play. Worth a try though. I hoped that T would tell P about the food on Masterchef and that I liked the duck, he might be tempted to cook it. Because as everyone knows a duck a day keeps the vet away.